Kay-Bee's Korner

Since I don't want to bother anyone about my issues in life. I am going to just blog it here because it is the only place I can vent my anger.

To start off, I don't know how long I am going to keep being so angry at irrelevant people. I just can't stand it! I am at the point where I want to regret making this much of friends. It bugs the hell out of me, because whatever I do for them, I am not appreciated. From now on I am going to stop associating with people. It feels so much better when I am by myself. I have no one. I never asked anyone for help, whether it was family or friends. I am sick of receiving disappointments from people I care about. You know what? I am just going to stop caring from now. I am DONE. There is no way I will be happy at this rate if I keep this going on. Imma just keep my fake smile to show people I am alright but I am not. I fucking hate everything. I also don't care if I am sending negative vibes to anyone. Suck it!

The guy I confessed to was my crush and I realized how stupid I was to like him in the first place. I shouldn't have. He is a worthless human being. Why did I do that to myself? I wanted to stay as friends because I fucking don't like him as a crush anymore. He is level is beneath me because he is a jerk. This Wednesday he sent me a text saying I'm on my own because he wants to live as a hermit. First I thought we were friends because on Monday he said he wanted to help me get in shape so I can fit in my maid of honor dress and play against my bro's gf in tennis. But no he said that shit and I hope he realized he should not flatter himself that I liked him. Cuz I ain't about that being in a relationship with stupid people status. I told myself that I don't need him or anyone. My standards in men are high and I am going to keep it that way because ONE, I hate stupid lying men, TWO, men who are anti-social, THREE, men who have an ugly face, FOUR, I am not attracted to Whites, Hispanics, and Blacks. You have to have a good reputation for me to like you, if you are pathetic then you are more likely not my type. If you're Asian, then you be best look good and get my level cuz I ain't about that joking around shit. This is why I am sticking to loving my Korean pop men, I've seen soo many great qualities of them. That fucken shit head crush of mine thinks they are fake behind camera, but in American it is true but not with Korean men. They actually have many reality shows of them as pre-debut and hidden cams. Also if people think I am a lesbian...I am NOT. Why? I FUCKEN HATE GIRLS. I CAN'T STAND BEING AROUND THEM. FOR GOD SAKES, IF I CAN BARELY HANDLE MYSELF WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I CAN HANDLE STUPID GIRLS???? For guys, I am going to stop making guy friends since all of them hate me and don't want to talk to me anymore. There is no point to bother them because all I do is complain. I admit, I am the worse person that anyone can be around with. Plus I have the worst luck with men, I am not going to get in a relationship because I've seen too much complications. I AM DONE WITH DEALING WITH FUCKING LITTLE BOYS WHO ARE A YEAR YOUNGER THAN ME. What I fucking need is a MAN. I don't need a man's help in anything because I am capable of doing things myself. My parents never helped me with anything. For example when I rode my bike and fell, no picked me up, even though it hurts like a bitch I picked my own self up. I don't believe in that prince charming shit because I know it will never happen to me.

Also my parents always favorites my little brother. Why? They fucking bought him a brand new car and they let him do anything he wants and don't have to get on his ass. I guess they only favors boys instead of girls because I am the slave in this family. My little brother don't have to do shit in this household. I fucking clean his bathroom, clean the dishes he used, and take out the trash. I don't get it. Maybe I shouldn't have been in a man instead. I fucking hate life. Just want to forget everything!!! I want to hit myself with a bat and knock all the useless memories out of my head, I want to forget everyone.